We had a more light-hearted post the other day, so let me bring it back down to my level. Your welcome ;D
I try my damndest not to self-medicate, but good god do I understand the appeal. The psych meds help, but they take weeks, sometimes even months, to have a significant effect. That’s a long time to be in the dark and it’s nearly impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every minute feels like you’re losing a little bit of your soul.
I’m straight-laced by nature, so the only immediate gratification I partake in is alcohol, but I get it. I avoid drinking during my lows because it is so much easier to drink than to be patient with my meds or just wait for the funk to pass. I imagine other (slightly more illegal) drugs have that same immediate effect of making it hurt less. Of distracting you. Of just doing something besides focusing on that horribly empty feeling in your chest.
But it’s not worth it. I know that, and I want you to know it too. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, however faint it may be. The fog will pass or the meds will start helping eventually and will be happy knowing that you did it without any illegal, mind-numbing drugs. And taking prescribed medication does not make you weak or broken. It makes you brave and strong enough to recognize the problem and try to fix it.
We can’t see the other people stuck in the dark with us, but there are so many. We are never alone and that is something important to keep in mind. Stay strong, stay here, and try to get some support. It’s out there if you ask for it.
Sappy post out.